Wow did I get way off track! Yet, I am still picking up where I left off and pushing on in spite of my mess up. It's been a tough last couples of days. I've felt like there's a force against me keeping me away from my time. I would turn on the worship or open the bible and it just felt blah. Like it all got stale on me. I honestly admit I didn't give all 30 minutes these last few days, but I kept attempting.
Here's the thing. It is not possible to be perfect 100% of the time. I know I am far from it for sure! What really matters is that you don't stay down. You get back up, brush off yourself off and keep trying. As we keep pushing on and thru, it will get easier to get back up and be able to keep our "balance" a little better.
So here I am brushing myself off and getting back at it. I am so grateful for the grace He has given me, and for always offering that helping hand when I get frustrated and sometimes just wanna sit there an wallow in my failure.
This last week we had VBS at our church. I wasn't able to be an active part in it but wow did we have a great turn out. My husband was in charge of the games. He did such a great job. I had some ladies come up and tell me what a great job he was doing. I love hearing good things about my family. It really blesses my heart. We had a handful of kids who gave their heart to Jesus and 5 that were water baptized. One of those kids was my 9 yr old son. And my husband was able to baptize our son himself. I tell ya, I've only had tears of happiness hit me a few times and I had happy tears this morning. It was so awesome to be there to witness it. Yes, I took pictures and even video!
I never thought I would have to get used to the idea of happy tears or being so happy you cry, but I am. Yes, I am a crier! I've tried to fight it off but no more. It's part of who I am. So if you see me in church with tears in my eyes, you know why! I am not gonna be ashamed of it anymore. It's part of who I am, so no more hiding it!
Embrace who you are friends! Keep getting up when you fall, and just be you! God doesn't want anything else!
Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki
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