Day 13 Daily Time Tithe

Wow did I get way off track! Yet, I am still picking up where I left off and pushing on in spite of my mess up. It's been a tough last couples of days. I've felt like there's a force against me keeping me away from my time. I would turn on the worship or open the bible and it just felt blah. Like it all got stale on me. I honestly admit I didn't give all 30 minutes these last few days, but I kept attempting.

Here's the thing. It is not possible to be perfect 100% of the time. I know I am far from it for sure! What really matters is that you don't stay down. You get back up, brush off yourself off and keep trying. As we keep pushing on and thru, it will get easier to get back up and be able to keep our "balance" a little better.

So here I am brushing myself off and getting back at it. I am so grateful for the grace He has given me, and for always offering that helping hand when I get frustrated and sometimes just wanna sit there an wallow in my failure.

This last week we had VBS at our church. I wasn't able to be an active part in it but wow did we have a great turn out. My husband was in charge of the games. He did such a great job. I had some ladies come up and tell me what a great job he was doing. I love hearing good things about my family. It really blesses my heart. We had a handful of kids who gave their heart to Jesus and 5 that were water baptized. One of those kids was my 9 yr old son. And my husband was able to baptize our son himself. I tell ya, I've only had tears of happiness hit me a few times and I had happy tears this morning. It was so awesome to be there to witness it. Yes, I took pictures and even video!

I never thought I would have to get used to the idea of happy tears or being so happy you cry, but I am. Yes, I am a crier! I've tried to fight it off but no more. It's part of who I am. So if you see me in church with tears in my eyes, you know why! I am not gonna be ashamed of it anymore. It's part of who I am, so no more hiding it!

Embrace who you are friends! Keep getting up when you fall, and just be you! God doesn't want anything else!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 10-12 Daily Time Tithe

Oops I think I kinda got off track on my days. Oh well I am giving myself grace. Tonight after a crazy busy day at work I felt a little insecure and kinda like an outcast. As I tried to fight off these lies I turned on my favorite praise & worship cd. The next song I heard was Revive Me Lord. Wow did I need to hear that. These are the words that seriously got my attention.

"You revive me Lord, You are the treasure I could not afford.

My soul is no longer thirsty, only you can satisfy. You're the well that never will run dry."

I felt so refreshed and truly revived. After a day where I felt very weathered, He showered me with a renewing grace. I still make mistakes, but I am 100% forgiven every time I ask and renewed, washed clean by the blood. And the greatest part is how you can be washed clean over and over again.

Thank you sweet Jesus for washing me clean by your holy blood. Thank you for always forgiving me and loving me through my many faults. Thank you for reviving me and providing for me! I love you Jesus! Amen!

That's it for tonight friends! Be blessed & I pray you are revived & renewed!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 9 Daily Time Tithe

Today I was forced to deal with the stupidity of others that directly affected me and my family. I felt a wide variety of emotions in such a short period of time. I was furious at first, then panic & fear quickly hit, then frustration. I can be a big momma bear when people mess with my family so I guess today I was in full momma bear mode.

So after I calmed down, here I sit reflecting on my day. My mother suggested I read Psalm 91. It was just what I needed. I am no longer fearful or angry. I gave it over to God and am choosing to believe we will not be affected! As for the person who upset me....yeah that still a work in progress. I can feel God pulling at my heart to pray for the person but my flesh is still very strong with that situation. I am allowing Him to work on me and hopefully soon, my bitterness and dislike for this person will give way to prayer and empathy.

I know bitterness and hatred is wrong, even when someone has wronged you or your loved ones. It may feel or even be justified given the circumstances but that bitterness and hatred will eat you up inside. I know this from experience. I am learning to give it over to Jesus, daily. Jesus loves this person just as much as me no matter what they say or do to me or my family. If I want to be an example of Jesus' love for others, I cannot continue to harbor these feelings.

So to this person I will say this. "I forgive you for the wrong you've done me and my family." It is not likely that this person will read this but there, I've at least said it out loud and typed it.

Jesus, please continue to work in my heart to remove the bitterness, resentment and hatred. I ask for strength and self control when I am testing in these things. Please bless the person who I did me and my family wrong. In Jesus' name. Amen.

If you are reading this and haven't forgiven someone for hurting you, for doing you wrong. Take a moment to reflect on the situation and forgive them. When you purposely stay in that place of bitterness and hatred, you give that person power over you. Once you forgive them, that power is gone. You don't have to tell them necessarily (unless you feel led too). But do it for yourself so you can start to clean up your heart and break off the control they have over you. If it makes you cry, then let it out. It will cleans your soul!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 8 Daily Time Tithe

Rough day. My day started out great then went downhill as the day went on. I don't know if I should call it an attack or just being lazy but I just plain out lost my joy. It's my own fault really, I let it go too easily. Have you ever done that? Someone annoys you at work, or the kids don't want to listen, the husband/wife is grumpy, nothing you do goes right, and there it goes, right out the window with the breeze. Well that was definitely me today. I did try to grasp it as it blew and bobbed around but just couldn't get ahold of it strong enough. I know there will be days like this. I'm just still disappointed and saddened that it happened.

It was beautiful weather today. As I was sitting eating my lunch outside, I heard a few motorcycles pass by which reminded me of my Uncle who had passed away a few months ago. I thought of how he would have enjoyed such a beautiful day riding his harley and it instantly brought tears to my eyes. He was always a little rough around the edges but deep down he was a teddy bear. I guess from there that's where I became vulnerable emotionally. I won't go into all the details but it was like falling down a hill on your butt. Not graceful at all.

I tried to pick myself up and dust myself off but kept getting knocked back down. Guess that's when it's just best to go to bed and sleep it off. That way you can start fresh the next day.

So that's what I am going to do. Good night readers!

Jesus thank you for getting me thru this day. Please give me the strength to endure the failures and falls. Thank you for never giving up on me and for loving me thru my mistakes and ugliness. I ask for a better day tomorrow.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 6 & 7 Daily Time Tithe

I was super tired yesterday so I didn't even look at the laptop yesterday night. I will keep going strong even if I don't blog everyday. So with that outta the way, here's what I've been discovering the last 2 days.

God really does show up in amazing ways. To some people the ways I've been blessed lately may be viewed as coincidences but I know better! It's been in small ways like thinking I want to hear a specific song on the radio, then I literally hear it immediately. I've also been blessed in bigger ways. God has taken a few of my frustrations & concerns and relieved them (a few in very specific ways that blew me away).

One struggle I have is overcoming my past. I have to give this over to God on a daily basis. Sometimes numerous times a day. I know it will get easier. I just keep forgiving myself and focus on how far I've come and am so completely grateful that I am not that same person. God is showing me my true beauty and worth and for me to see that now is a testament that I am NOT that same woman from my past. I'm washed clean, forgiven and a beautiful creation and I BELIEVE it. I do have days where it's harder to believe but my wonderful husband reminds me daily by telling me how gorgeous I am. Well he doesn't like to be called a liar and neither does Jesus. So it's a work in progress that is coming along nicely.

Last night I shared my quiet time with my family. We all prayed together and then I prayed over my children and husband. It was so nice to share it with them. I hope to share the time with them again soon. I truly am blessed with great kids. They love being at church (esp. kids church). My husband and I are praying regularly that they will be strong in their faith and be bold for Jesus. They've even invited some neighbor friends to VBS next week. I am so proud of them.

Thank you Jesus for the wonderful family You've given me. Please help me to be an example for what a Godly mother should be. I pray that my children stay grounded and strong in You and help shed some of Your light into the world.

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 5 Daily Time Tithe

Today I just spent alone time with Jesus. I was really wanting to hear a song on the radio and flipped the station and poof there it was! I was mostly awe struck in amazement today. He is so faithful and good! I'm happy to be where I am. I'm so thankful that I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, even 10 months ago.

Lord I am your clay. Mold me and shape me even more than You have. I am ready for the change and excited for the future! I give you ALL the glory!

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 4 Daily Time Tithe

I'm at the halfway point to a full week of this new challenge. I am loving it! And this blogging thing is really easy..no wonder so many of you do it! LOL

So today I didn't read anything but did a lot of praying and talking to Jesus. I have a half hour commute to and from work so today that was my quiet time. I sang a little praise but chose to just talk to my savior today. He is such a great listener. He never interrupts or talks too much. He is just there, all ears!

My focus today was gratitude. I am so thankful for God's grace and to just be where I am today. I am truly blessed. I thought back over my past (and believe me it's not a pretty one) alot and then I heard one of my favorite songs by Britt Nicole. If I were to have a song theme song this would be one in the top 5 Britt Nicole-All This Time. I truly believe God controls the radio because I've heard songs at just the right moment that were just what I needed to hear.

So I thought about my past mistakes and saw them in a completely different light. I can see the stupidity of my choices and decisions and felt a few pangs of regret. But I went thru them for a reason. I now see them as lessons learned and as examples for my children, and even others to know what NOT to do. I also now view them sort of as a measuring stick, and wow have I come a LONG way! I've grown in ways that were once unimaginable. And Jesus was there silently loving me the whole time.

If you feel like you are alone and that no one understands, you are wrong. Jesus is there, all the time. He will never say, "Whoa, this is too much for me to deal with, I'm outta here!" He patiently waits for us to call on, or in some cases even cry out to Him.

I am very thankful that I came thru the fire and now being molded and polished into a bright and beautiful creation in Jesus! Friends, you may be hard to see it yourselves but YOU ARE TOO! God will bring you thru a murky past and make you clean looking like new!

Daddy Jesus-Thank you for the lessons learned, and for always being there for me. Please keep me and my family safe and healthy, and please bless everyone reading this blog! In Jesus' name-Amen!

Shine on friends!
Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 3 Daily Time Tithe

Can I just say how much I love my church family! I am so blessed to be part of such an amazing, passionate, loving church! If you are searching for a church home, please check out Highpoint City Church. Come for a visit and see for yourself!

Ok enough with the shameless plug. Service was awesome today (it is every Sunday). The subject today was faith. I don't want to go over the details of the sermon but it got me thinking more about where I am at with my faith. Faith means trust in a person or thing. I started thinking, "how much do I trust Jesus with ALL my needs, problems, etc."? I have to say it's not where I want it to be, BUT I am getting there! It takes practice and discipline to completely trust 100% in someone I've never seen. That's faith friends! I find that as I trust Him more and more, He always shows up! In some amazingly great way, He is there! Sometime right in the nick of time.

So if you are going thru a particularly rough time and it feels like nothing is going to ever go right or there's no fixing it...try to give Jesus more trust. He knows what you are going thru, He just wants you to give it to Him and trust Him. I know it may sound corny but just say to yourself, "I trust you God." And say it over and over again until you BELIEVE it! Let it sink in!

I've been thinking about a person I know who has hit rock bottom. She's gone thru some serious heartache and pain. She's seriously hurting. She thinks something is wrong with her. After briefly turning to Jesus she decided to walk away for whatever reason. I don't know why and it doesn't matter, I am trusting Jesus will bring her back. I am praying Jesus will bring her back. And I am praying for those who need more trust.

Sweet Jesus, I pray for those who are hurting and fearing their circumstances. I pray for them to have the courage and strength to trust in YOU and to keep on going. Show them Your grace and your love. Thank you for always having my back, Dad..In Jesus' name. Amen!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 2 (July 6th, 2013) 30 Day Time Tithe

Had a headache tonight. I was expecting something like this to happen. I somehow knew my flesh would act up or expected the kids to be extra cranky but I was prepared. I didn't let my pain be my focus and again went into praise and reading. I decided to read a book that is somewhat new to me. I chose Ecclesiastes. I read specifically chapter 5:1-7.

How many times have I promised God to do better or to change and then fall right back into my old ways whether unintentional or intentional. Today's reading really got my attention. I don't want to make anymore promises to the One who saved my soul. He deserves my best, not my half-way attempts or pathetic try-to's.

So friends if you have been only putting forth a miniscule effort into your relationship with Jesus, stop making empty promises and give it your best effort! Yes we are human and will slip up and make mistakes. We don't have to be perfect 100% of the time. No one is capable of that. Just brush if off, ask Jesus to forgive you and forgive yourself and keep pushing in harder.

Back to the headache that was trying to bother me. Funny how when I get the focus off my flesh, how the pain goes away. It's definitely going to get easier with practice. I feel like saying "Hey, I really am stronger than my flesh! I can really DO this!" And you can too.

With that being said, Jesus I pray for more strength over my flesh. I pray for each reader to take control over their flesh and to keep the focus on You. Thank You for always showing up when I need You. Please keep us all safe and healthy in Jesus' name. Amen!

Jesus knows you can do it! I believe you can too!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 1 of 30 day Time Tithe

Ok so I officially started the 30 day time tithe yesterday... and decided today to keep a blog to share my journey as I go. If you want to know more about the 30 day time tithe you can view the event on facebook here. I hope this also helps keep me accountable, so here goes...I hope you enjoy, learn and maybe even laugh a little along the way with me!

So I was trying to figure out where and how I was going to do this time tithe. The kids were starting to work my nerves. I was becoming frustrated that I couldn't get any quiet time. I normally would have voiced my frustration loudly and given up but I decided instead of doing that, to go to my little office area. I grabbed my bible and turned on the praise and wow did it work great! My favorite way to get the praise flowing is to go to youtube. I love it! It's like my own personal radio and only I control what I hear! I am always open to new praise songs so if you have any suggestions, please feel free to either leave them in a comment or message me on facebook.

The reading started off a little rocky. I kept flipping around from new to old and back to new testament. Then as I praised more actively, the reading became easier, and it was sinking in. I became so relaxed and happy I had tears welling up in my eyes. I just love how we can't out give God. We give him just a little bit and He shows up and gives us even MORE! 

I have been struggling to stick with any kind of routine like this. I can expect my kids to stick to a routine but yet I completely fail at it?? There's something outta whack there. So that's something I was praying for God to change in me. I just started talking (ok it was more like whispering, because by that time everyone was in bed).  I just put it out there and asked for help to change. What happened next really caught me by surprise. I was praising with my arms in the air, looking up to heaven, (I don't remember if I had my eyes closed or open) but then I saw a quick glimpse of myself in the future only I was different. I was changed! It's really hard to explain in words, but I knew it my heart that it was me, on a routine, gone deeper and more into Jesus! 

I know that not everyone will experience but it is my prayer that you, the one reading this blog, will either come to know Jesus or go with me deeper into the faith, love and happiness that Jesus has for us! All we have to do is show up! 

Jesus I pray for the people reading this blog. That you will use this new format for Your glory and reach those who need to be reached. I pray for those reading this that do know You, to grow deeper and become more passionate for and in You! In Jesus' name. Amen!

Peace, Love & Blessings to you!
Nikki