Day 13 Daily Time Tithe

Wow did I get way off track! Yet, I am still picking up where I left off and pushing on in spite of my mess up. It's been a tough last couples of days. I've felt like there's a force against me keeping me away from my time. I would turn on the worship or open the bible and it just felt blah. Like it all got stale on me. I honestly admit I didn't give all 30 minutes these last few days, but I kept attempting.

Here's the thing. It is not possible to be perfect 100% of the time. I know I am far from it for sure! What really matters is that you don't stay down. You get back up, brush off yourself off and keep trying. As we keep pushing on and thru, it will get easier to get back up and be able to keep our "balance" a little better.

So here I am brushing myself off and getting back at it. I am so grateful for the grace He has given me, and for always offering that helping hand when I get frustrated and sometimes just wanna sit there an wallow in my failure.

This last week we had VBS at our church. I wasn't able to be an active part in it but wow did we have a great turn out. My husband was in charge of the games. He did such a great job. I had some ladies come up and tell me what a great job he was doing. I love hearing good things about my family. It really blesses my heart. We had a handful of kids who gave their heart to Jesus and 5 that were water baptized. One of those kids was my 9 yr old son. And my husband was able to baptize our son himself. I tell ya, I've only had tears of happiness hit me a few times and I had happy tears this morning. It was so awesome to be there to witness it. Yes, I took pictures and even video!

I never thought I would have to get used to the idea of happy tears or being so happy you cry, but I am. Yes, I am a crier! I've tried to fight it off but no more. It's part of who I am. So if you see me in church with tears in my eyes, you know why! I am not gonna be ashamed of it anymore. It's part of who I am, so no more hiding it!

Embrace who you are friends! Keep getting up when you fall, and just be you! God doesn't want anything else!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 10-12 Daily Time Tithe

Oops I think I kinda got off track on my days. Oh well I am giving myself grace. Tonight after a crazy busy day at work I felt a little insecure and kinda like an outcast. As I tried to fight off these lies I turned on my favorite praise & worship cd. The next song I heard was Revive Me Lord. Wow did I need to hear that. These are the words that seriously got my attention.

"You revive me Lord, You are the treasure I could not afford.

My soul is no longer thirsty, only you can satisfy. You're the well that never will run dry."

I felt so refreshed and truly revived. After a day where I felt very weathered, He showered me with a renewing grace. I still make mistakes, but I am 100% forgiven every time I ask and renewed, washed clean by the blood. And the greatest part is how you can be washed clean over and over again.

Thank you sweet Jesus for washing me clean by your holy blood. Thank you for always forgiving me and loving me through my many faults. Thank you for reviving me and providing for me! I love you Jesus! Amen!

That's it for tonight friends! Be blessed & I pray you are revived & renewed!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 9 Daily Time Tithe

Today I was forced to deal with the stupidity of others that directly affected me and my family. I felt a wide variety of emotions in such a short period of time. I was furious at first, then panic & fear quickly hit, then frustration. I can be a big momma bear when people mess with my family so I guess today I was in full momma bear mode.

So after I calmed down, here I sit reflecting on my day. My mother suggested I read Psalm 91. It was just what I needed. I am no longer fearful or angry. I gave it over to God and am choosing to believe we will not be affected! As for the person who upset me....yeah that still a work in progress. I can feel God pulling at my heart to pray for the person but my flesh is still very strong with that situation. I am allowing Him to work on me and hopefully soon, my bitterness and dislike for this person will give way to prayer and empathy.

I know bitterness and hatred is wrong, even when someone has wronged you or your loved ones. It may feel or even be justified given the circumstances but that bitterness and hatred will eat you up inside. I know this from experience. I am learning to give it over to Jesus, daily. Jesus loves this person just as much as me no matter what they say or do to me or my family. If I want to be an example of Jesus' love for others, I cannot continue to harbor these feelings.

So to this person I will say this. "I forgive you for the wrong you've done me and my family." It is not likely that this person will read this but there, I've at least said it out loud and typed it.

Jesus, please continue to work in my heart to remove the bitterness, resentment and hatred. I ask for strength and self control when I am testing in these things. Please bless the person who I did me and my family wrong. In Jesus' name. Amen.

If you are reading this and haven't forgiven someone for hurting you, for doing you wrong. Take a moment to reflect on the situation and forgive them. When you purposely stay in that place of bitterness and hatred, you give that person power over you. Once you forgive them, that power is gone. You don't have to tell them necessarily (unless you feel led too). But do it for yourself so you can start to clean up your heart and break off the control they have over you. If it makes you cry, then let it out. It will cleans your soul!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 8 Daily Time Tithe

Rough day. My day started out great then went downhill as the day went on. I don't know if I should call it an attack or just being lazy but I just plain out lost my joy. It's my own fault really, I let it go too easily. Have you ever done that? Someone annoys you at work, or the kids don't want to listen, the husband/wife is grumpy, nothing you do goes right, and there it goes, right out the window with the breeze. Well that was definitely me today. I did try to grasp it as it blew and bobbed around but just couldn't get ahold of it strong enough. I know there will be days like this. I'm just still disappointed and saddened that it happened.

It was beautiful weather today. As I was sitting eating my lunch outside, I heard a few motorcycles pass by which reminded me of my Uncle who had passed away a few months ago. I thought of how he would have enjoyed such a beautiful day riding his harley and it instantly brought tears to my eyes. He was always a little rough around the edges but deep down he was a teddy bear. I guess from there that's where I became vulnerable emotionally. I won't go into all the details but it was like falling down a hill on your butt. Not graceful at all.

I tried to pick myself up and dust myself off but kept getting knocked back down. Guess that's when it's just best to go to bed and sleep it off. That way you can start fresh the next day.

So that's what I am going to do. Good night readers!

Jesus thank you for getting me thru this day. Please give me the strength to endure the failures and falls. Thank you for never giving up on me and for loving me thru my mistakes and ugliness. I ask for a better day tomorrow.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 6 & 7 Daily Time Tithe

I was super tired yesterday so I didn't even look at the laptop yesterday night. I will keep going strong even if I don't blog everyday. So with that outta the way, here's what I've been discovering the last 2 days.

God really does show up in amazing ways. To some people the ways I've been blessed lately may be viewed as coincidences but I know better! It's been in small ways like thinking I want to hear a specific song on the radio, then I literally hear it immediately. I've also been blessed in bigger ways. God has taken a few of my frustrations & concerns and relieved them (a few in very specific ways that blew me away).

One struggle I have is overcoming my past. I have to give this over to God on a daily basis. Sometimes numerous times a day. I know it will get easier. I just keep forgiving myself and focus on how far I've come and am so completely grateful that I am not that same person. God is showing me my true beauty and worth and for me to see that now is a testament that I am NOT that same woman from my past. I'm washed clean, forgiven and a beautiful creation and I BELIEVE it. I do have days where it's harder to believe but my wonderful husband reminds me daily by telling me how gorgeous I am. Well he doesn't like to be called a liar and neither does Jesus. So it's a work in progress that is coming along nicely.

Last night I shared my quiet time with my family. We all prayed together and then I prayed over my children and husband. It was so nice to share it with them. I hope to share the time with them again soon. I truly am blessed with great kids. They love being at church (esp. kids church). My husband and I are praying regularly that they will be strong in their faith and be bold for Jesus. They've even invited some neighbor friends to VBS next week. I am so proud of them.

Thank you Jesus for the wonderful family You've given me. Please help me to be an example for what a Godly mother should be. I pray that my children stay grounded and strong in You and help shed some of Your light into the world.

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 5 Daily Time Tithe

Today I just spent alone time with Jesus. I was really wanting to hear a song on the radio and flipped the station and poof there it was! I was mostly awe struck in amazement today. He is so faithful and good! I'm happy to be where I am. I'm so thankful that I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, even 10 months ago.

Lord I am your clay. Mold me and shape me even more than You have. I am ready for the change and excited for the future! I give you ALL the glory!

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki

Day 4 Daily Time Tithe

I'm at the halfway point to a full week of this new challenge. I am loving it! And this blogging thing is really easy..no wonder so many of you do it! LOL

So today I didn't read anything but did a lot of praying and talking to Jesus. I have a half hour commute to and from work so today that was my quiet time. I sang a little praise but chose to just talk to my savior today. He is such a great listener. He never interrupts or talks too much. He is just there, all ears!

My focus today was gratitude. I am so thankful for God's grace and to just be where I am today. I am truly blessed. I thought back over my past (and believe me it's not a pretty one) alot and then I heard one of my favorite songs by Britt Nicole. If I were to have a song theme song this would be one in the top 5 Britt Nicole-All This Time. I truly believe God controls the radio because I've heard songs at just the right moment that were just what I needed to hear.

So I thought about my past mistakes and saw them in a completely different light. I can see the stupidity of my choices and decisions and felt a few pangs of regret. But I went thru them for a reason. I now see them as lessons learned and as examples for my children, and even others to know what NOT to do. I also now view them sort of as a measuring stick, and wow have I come a LONG way! I've grown in ways that were once unimaginable. And Jesus was there silently loving me the whole time.

If you feel like you are alone and that no one understands, you are wrong. Jesus is there, all the time. He will never say, "Whoa, this is too much for me to deal with, I'm outta here!" He patiently waits for us to call on, or in some cases even cry out to Him.

I am very thankful that I came thru the fire and now being molded and polished into a bright and beautiful creation in Jesus! Friends, you may be hard to see it yourselves but YOU ARE TOO! God will bring you thru a murky past and make you clean looking like new!

Daddy Jesus-Thank you for the lessons learned, and for always being there for me. Please keep me and my family safe and healthy, and please bless everyone reading this blog! In Jesus' name-Amen!

Shine on friends!
Peace, Love & Blessings!
Nikki